[简答题]现代心理学家对“双赢”解决办法很感兴趣。但在婚姻中，成功更取决于“双输”解决办法。有了这些解决方案，双方就都能获胜。因为在爱的关系中，输是送出一份总会有回报的礼物。婚姻关系中关键的问题是：准将掌握控制权人们往往把放弃控制权与软弱混为一谈。但在家庭之争中的胜利者从来都不是真正的胜利者。在你赢得斗争而你的伴侣屈服时，你已经输了。这听起来似乎自相矛盾，却千真万确。因此请记住：如果你想感到被爱、被尊重，就放弃控制权。如果你想在家庭争论中获胜，就得学会在争论中认输。

参考答案: Modern psychologists are taken with the "win-win" solution. But in marriage, success lies more in "lose-lose" solution. Out of these, both parties can win. For in love configuration, losing gives a gift that always returns. The key issue in marriage is: Who is going to be in control Givlng up control is chen confused with weakness. But the winner in a domestic argument is never re- ally the winner. When you win a battle and your partner submits, you have, paradoxically, lost. So remember: if you want to feel loved and respected, give up control. And if you want to win arguments at home, learn to lose them.